.:Bullet Proof Read:.

A threshold of [edited] thoughts.

I sacrifice misery.

August 15th, 2007 | Category: Poetry Pit


Just another dark moment…

Let the star shoot itself
Across my sky of loneliness
That bright light is myself
Flailing before your indifferent holiness

Let the river overrun its course
Through my hopeless valley
That strong flow has me as its source
Throwing red herrings where you hurry

Let the clouds cast its long shadow
On my gloomy garden
The grey skies represent my low
Seeking desperately your appeasement

Let the dry breeze blow gently
Upon the brown leaves crumbling
That mute wind signals my failure
As I watch till invisible, you fading

Let the whole of me talk to you still
For perhaps the very last time
Your death has had me killed
But you continue to live on, while I pay for your crime.

Lisa Ahé.

12 Comments so far

  1. Umm AaM August 16th, 2007 12:54 am

    Deepness.. I like.

    Jazaakillaahu Khayran.

  2. Editor August 16th, 2007 4:30 am

    Did you like my photo too? *blush*

    Wa iyyaki, glad you liked it!

    I thought it might’ve gone too much into the darkness… But eh, every line holds so much meaning for me.

    I feel the need to at least explain this part though: In the fourth stanza, the word “failure” was left without rhyme to purposefully illustrate the very depth of failure.

  3. Umm Abdullaah August 17th, 2007 5:57 am

    Ooooo mashaAllah Eddy!

    “In the fourth stanza, the word “failure” was left without rhyme to purposefully illustrate the very depth of failure. ” - Smartness!

  4. Editor August 17th, 2007 10:08 pm

    Hey you! Jazakillahu khair for the comment. Yeah, that makes a convenient excuse for a flaw eh. Lol.

    I’ve actually seen your blog before and wondered if it was really yours. Now I know! :D Mind if I put it on my blogroll?

  5. Kalam August 18th, 2007 1:36 am

    “I feel the need to at least explain this part though: In the fourth stanza, the word “failure” was left without rhyme to purposefully illustrate the very depth of failure.”

    …yeah sure Editor just admit that you couldn’t think of a word to rhyme with failure lol

  6. mujaahidah August 18th, 2007 7:45 am

    Nice. I like it.

  7. Abu GG August 18th, 2007 6:47 pm

    One again, Editor has exemplified Coolness.

  8. Editor August 19th, 2007 12:28 am

    Kalam, looool, you know me too well *blush*. (L)

    mujaahidah and Abu GG, thanks! Means a lot. :)

  9. Umm Abdullaah August 19th, 2007 3:02 pm

    No not at all and inshaAllah I’l get around to adding you soon too.

  10. Editor August 20th, 2007 10:22 pm

    Thanks, sis. I usually add people by their blog header titles, but since yours is the basmalah, I named it as “Istighfar” on my blogroll. Hope that’s all right with you. (It better be! :P)

  11. Noman August 21st, 2007 9:12 pm

    Good work! :-)

  12. Editor August 22nd, 2007 3:23 am

    Thanks, Noman! :D

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