.:Bullet Proof Read:.

Puzzled heart? Putting back the
pieces is easy if you put your mind to it.

A little Q&A-esque in recent comments that I thought I’d make into a proper post…

Q: what advice can you give tosomeone whos heart has been broken

A: Wow. Tough one. Hmm. Can I just say “GET OVER IT?!” Heh, just kidding.

What’s essential is the initial acknowledgement that there is a heartbreak. Sometimes people tend to avoid dealing with the issue. Running away from the problem usually results in it returning in the future in an uglier form. So it needs to be dealt with at that very moment to the best of one’s ability.

Having said that, every situation is different and merits varying remedies. It really depends on how the heartbreak came about. So the most basic advice I’d give is to realise that you cannot control what has happened (qadr Allah wa ma sha’a fa’al), but you can control how you react. Let out your emotions (within limits), cry if you must because as quoted in the above comment, “The tearless grief bleeds inwards.” and internal pain is worse. Talk it out with close ones. Give yourself time to heal, don’t let people push/pressure you into getting over it asap. Because while it’s possible to get over something quickly, it just makes it harder to move on - which should be the primary objective.

What’s really important is that with every step of the way, remember that the hurt will go away, and you will be ok. Forcing that corner of your mind to think positive despite your heart burning, does help. Gradually overcome the emotions to think rationally. Reflect to discover fresh perspectives. Sorta like the one in my previous post “When what’s written for you…” of seeing it from the other party’s view - how they’re better off now.

And of course, the standard dhikr and du’as are a must during this trying time. You can take all sorts of measures, but you’d still need Allah’s help for them to take effect.

Whatever you do, be good to yourself. You’re already in the dumps, the last thing you need is to beat yourself further down into depression. At the same time, avoid demonising the other person. This might deceive you into feeling better temporarily - but later on, you might feel worse for having thought so badly of them. Instead, remember and cherish the good moments. Be the better one if they truly have wronged you - make excuses, forgive and pray the best for them. That will bring you genuine comfort.

Hope some of this helps. Thanks btw for leaving a comment.