.:Bullet Proof Read:.

It’s been an interesting week, masha Allah, filled with new, refreshing, deep thoughts and sadly, depressing ones too. (Besides the fact that I slipped and fell in the rain on a muddy patch of grass! It’s ok, you can laugh along. Seriously. No broken bones or feelings.)

So anyways in the spirit of numbering, I shall list these points in chronological order. See, the thing is I’ve always liked short notes… they’re so much easier to read. If I notice something is too long (mostly online), it just turns me off from even trying to enjoy the read. And erm making lists eases the reader’s eyes and mind (err troubles too? you wish!). But I digress… and ironically make this longer than it should be! (Oh, why do you even read me. Sigh.)

Presenting…

1. Meri phone
Monday was a full work day (Hey, who cares if I spent a few hours on Sunday doing actual ‘on-site’ work!). The sheep were stinking up the whole place but that smell made it all about ‘Eid al-Adha. I rarely, if ever, bring my phone up with me for salah but that day, due to some circumstances, I brought it along with me for ‘asr, thinking it’d be safe in my pocket. And so it was, staying with me throughout the entire prayer. It was only when I got back to the office that I realised it was MISSING! The horror! I panicked because it was nowhere on my desk either. I ran over to the other side and realised I couldn’t have left it there because that was the whole reason (yes, that circumstance) I brought it along with me.

Then fearing the worst, knowing the only place it could be, I RUSHED up three flights of stairs to save my dearest phone. All the thoughts that flew around in my head, subhan Allah. I thanked Allah that I saw no one in sight (which is totally sad cos you’d wish there were MORE people in the masjid lol)… and most of all that I spotted my phone on the floor. It had fallen off not during salah, but as I was getting up to leave.

The scariest thought? That I had the least trust in people in that place of ALL places. It’s unfortunate, really. The stories that you hear of things vanishing less than 5 minutes after someone accidentally leaves it behind. It’s supposed to be the house of Allah, right? Donation cans being ran off with is definitely not unique to our masjid alone… but man, I just stopped to ponder that very thought of trust in the masjid. More disappointingly, it extends beyond a materialistic physical sphere…

Allahul musta’an. May He rectify our affairs.

2. Yuwaysir
Still on the same manic Monday. My long awaited PC arrived just before I got home and t’was exciting just setting it up! (Ahh, cheap thrills) But dang oh dang, the monitor was dang faulty! My lesson? Sabr. I’m blessed with a brand new PC even though the old one was working just fine. I’d waited 3 weeks to get it, what’s a couple more days? And hey, I could just use the old monitor in the meantime. My sis practically lives here these days, the last thing on her mind is bringing that old PC home.

So I tried being patient. I went to sleep.

3. ‘Eid Sa’eed!
I noticed I was the only one to say ‘Eid Sa’eed online… I’d wanted to be different but the funny thing about that is that you start wondering if your strangeness equates to being wrong. So I started doubting if I could say that greeting instead of Mubarak. How sad.

My ‘eid was really good this year, alhamdulillah. Despite going alone for the salah, it was a wonderful experience. I got up real close to the slaughterings than ever before (haha!). That day certainly brought about a perspective I shall keep with me for long. The basic principle of which is that you never know until you try. Or in dropping the pink elephant, you’ll only know if you try!

Good news and stuff :)

4. The second test.
And so things went fine for the next couple of days. Till the next test of patience come end of week. Let’s avoid the details and go for the lesson shall we. You know, I could go on like a broken record telling you that the complaint is only to Allah. And it’ll be worth it. But I learnt just how… very… hard… it is… to… CONTROL. You could tell yourself and even think that you’re feeling fine (yea those annoying self-help books) but you lose all control of that heartbeat and mind race…

Patience when calamity first hits ranks highest. And now I know why.

I also learnt that repeating reminders to others really does help you when you need your own advice.

This is getting super long even for me… And I’m feeling sleepy. So to sleep, to sleep. And perhaps I’ll continue tomorrow or just make a brand new entry insha Allah.

Hope we liked it.